Short Story: Thank You

I wrote my first Thank You Note at age 10. My mom thought it was time I thank people myself for my gifts. I didn’t mind. Hell, it beat an awkward phone conversation that consisted of me saying “Thank you,” 2-3 minutes of silence, before handing the phone back to the nearest adult. 

This first note was to Aunt Sally:

Dear Aunt Sally,

Thank you for the Christmas gift.

Love,

Diane

Short and sweet. I thought I nailed it. My mom, however, thought I needed to write something longer. Something more personal. I believe she said to me, “Don’t be shy. Tell Aunt Sally how you feel about your gift.”

Well, okay. Take two. 

Dear Aunt Sally,

Thank you for the Christmas gift. The stuffed frog is cute, but I would rather have the remote control car you gave to Tommy. You do know that he’s only four and does not know how to use it. Wait. I hear him crying now. Be right back. 

I’m back. He was crying because he broke the car. Told you so. 

Love,

Diane

P.S—It’s turtles I like. Not frogs!

P.P.S—You know you’re not really my aunt. You're just my mom’s old friend. 

Neither parent proof read the letter. They were too busy trying to console Tommy. Of course, Aunt Sally called my mom after she read my heartfelt letter. After that, Mom always read my Thank You notes. For the record, though, Dad thought the letter was hysterical. I think he even high-fived me. (My dad and Aunt Sally didn’t really get along.)

Not all my Thank Yous were bad. But over the years, I was told to do a few rewrites. Here are a few ones that got blocked by the censor. 

Age 12:

Dear LeAnn,

Thank you for coming to my birthday party, and for the birthday gift! How did you know that I wanted that tape?

Oh, I know how you knew. Because when you got Cooleyhighharmony for your birthday last month, I gave you a blank tape for you to record it for me. Instead of just doing the small favor, you did it for my birthday. You didn’t even buy the tape. That’s not a real gift, LeAnn. A real gift would have been you buying the tape in the store. That way I could have the little book with the lyrics in it. 

I hope your boom box eats your tape. 

Love,

Diane

I did get enough money for my birthday to buy the real Boyz II Men tape. I used the other tape to record songs from the radio. 

Age 18:

Dear Uncle Lou, 

Thank you for the typewriter and the graduation card. 

I wanted to set the record straight, though. I am not going to “Secretary School.” Does that even exist anymore? In case you were not aware, it’s the 1990s. Women have more options for employment than being a teacher or a secretary. I know you’re in your 80s, but you can’t use that as an excuse to be sexist. 

Love,

Diane

This one I actually felt bad about writing. Not right away, though. I was fuming when my mom told me that I should reconsider my words. I felt guilty when a couple months later, Uncle Lou was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. He probably had no idea what year it was. Or, he was sexist. I don’t know. 

Age 28:

Dear Mrs. Nash, 

I know that you were not completely on board with Grant and I moving in together before we got married, but I do appreciate you coming to our housewarming party. 

Thank you for your generous gift of high end cleaning products, as well as instructions on the best way to clean your son’s shirts. I hope you don’t mind, but I’m regifting those instructions to Grant. I know it’s hard for you to believe, but he’s an adult and can wash his own clothes. He can also use some of these expensive cleaning supplies and clean the house, too. 

Your baby is an adult. He will act like it.

Love, 

Diane

P.S.—I also want to thank you for the grill. I’m sure it was just an oversight that the tag on that gift just had Grant’s name. 

Grant is the one that vetoed that. Considering what I really wanted to say, I thought that was pretty tame. Side note, when I told my mom about the letter, it was her turn to high five me. 

Age 32:

Dear Jeff and Tanya,

Thank you so much for sharing our wedding day. We were delighted that you brought your three kids who we never met and didn’t invite. It was such a sweet moment when one of them loudly yelled, “Eww! Get a room!” when we shared our first kiss as husband and wife. 

We also want to tell you how much we appreciate your thoughtful gift of $20. Just $100 more and we can cover the plates of your offspring, that just complained that their potatoes were touching their chicken. 

Love,

Diane & Grant

Both my mom and mother-in-law agreed with me, but thought it best to go the short and sweet route. 

I don’t want you to think that I am ungrateful. I mean, I did sign all my letters with “Love, Diane.” I’ve written plenty of nicely worded Thank You Notes. Those just aren’t as fun!

☙☙☙

I hope you enjoyed the story. I wrote it a couple years ago for an online writing competition.

What I Can Do

A couple weeks ago, I posted an entry about how I’m struggling with the Coronavirus and social distancing. How anxiety, guilt, and depression started weaseling their way back into my life. That entry was the topic of conversation with my therapist a couple days after it was posted. 

We really focused on the I can’t fix this thought I was having. I can’t fix this. I’m a helper, a giver. Making people happy is probably my favorite thing to do, and during this time, I can’t do it. I can’t cure the Coronavirus; I can’t ease the fears of friends and family about illness or income. I can’t protect the ones I care about.

My therapist pointed out that I may not be able to ease fears or cure but the virus, but there are things I can do to help. I’m doing the social distancing thing. But it doesn’t feel like enough. 

As usual, our session left me with a few things to think about. I can’t solve all the world’s problems, but maybe I can still put a little happiness into the world. 

I started with work. I’ve been calling my coworkers just to check in. See how they’re handling working from home, or social distancing in general. 

Now, I’m trying to bring some happiness to my neighbors. I’ve been taking walks around the neighborhood and from the window in my home office, I see people taking their walks. I know when I walk, colorful flowers, signs in the windows, and garden gnomes make me smile. They brighten my day. So, I want to return the favor for my neighbors. I have a sign hanging from a window in my office:

I want to put signs with silly puns and jokes in the window in the living room. 

I’ve painted rocks that I want to put along the edge of our lawn. Though, my artistic talent is a bit lacking. I’m also thinking of putting out a bowl or two with water for the neighborhood dogs.

With it being National Letter Writing Month, I asked my family and friends who would like a letter from me. A few people replied, and I'm looking forward to putting all my beautiful note cards to good use. Also, I'm thinking of sending postcards to some of my neighbors. Just to let them know that on my walks, their flowers, or gnomes, or signs, or whatever, brighten my day.

My mental health is getting a little better. I just have to remember that even though I can’t make everything “all better,” there are some things I can do to put a little love into the world. 

Home Office Rules

Every office has rules.  My home office is no different.  Here are the rules for my new office:

1. The proper volume of the music you listen to depends on how good the song is. 
2. Getting dressed is Optional. 
3. If you are opting not to get dressed, remember to keep the webcam off. 
4. No shoes? No problem. 
5. Visit the cute guy in the basement on each break. 
6. Phone must be muted before screaming in frustration.
7. A cluttered desk is a happy desk. 
8. Talking to yourself is encouraged; it’s always good to talk to intelligent people.

What are your Home Office Rules?

Comfort

I had to go grocery shopping today.  And, I will admit, I was scared.  Scared to go grocery shopping.  I was never a fan of shopping, but I would never say I was scared.

Usually, I go shopping with the hubbins.  But now grocery stores are requesting that just one person per household go.  I offered to go this week.  So, not only am I scared of who knows what, but I don't have my safety with me.

I did it.  And it wasn't so bad.  I did get annoyed at people who didn't follow the arrows pointing which way to walk in the aisle.  Other than that, it was fine.

After being scared to do a simple errand, I decided that today I'm going to comfort myself.  Just do little things that hopefully will ease my fears, and possibly take away some stress.

I already baked a cake.  

  

Lemon flavored.  I figured lemon seemed happy.

I want to do something crafty, read a book, fill up my bird feeders, take a walk, and nap.  

Don't we all need comfort in a time like this?  What are you doing to give yourself comfort?

Anxiety and Depression in Isolation

Deep breath. I can do this. Just say it. 

I think I…

No. Don’t start with “I think.” I know how I feel. I just need to say it. 

I’m struggling. I’m not okay. 

That’s difficult to admit. I’m fighting off my natural instincts to delete what I just typed. Or make a joke. Maybe move on to a happier topic. Do something to downplay the confession. But it’s out there, for all of my (maybe three) readers to see. 

I’m once again stuck in the cycle of depression, anxiety, and guilt. Fun times. (I’m going to keep that remark in. It just shows how bad I am at talking about this.) Now, I’m not in the hole that I mentioned in this entry, but I am on a decline. 

I find myself lying awake at night. My mind racing with thoughts I can’t control. I can physically feel the anxiety on me, a lead blanket draped over my chest. 

Even now, my mind is running, and I’m finding it a little difficult to write this. For it to make any sense, or to be in any type of order. 

Well, here it goes. A brain dump:

💔I don’t care if I catch this virus. If I die, I die. But I can’t handle it if someone I know gets it. That’s what scares me the most. 

💔But if I die, my family would be upset. They’ll get over it eventually. 

💔Am I doing this social distancing thing right? I go to the grocery store, and I’ve ordered food. Should I not be doing that? Am I putting people at risk?

💔I miss people. Yes, I love my hubbins, and I’m an introvert, but I still miss seeing people. My coworkers, my favorite waiters and waitresses at my favorite restaurants, my family. I live maybe five minutes from my closest family, and I’m terrified to go over because what if I’m carrying this thing and get them sick?

💔I can’t fix this. I’m a helper, a giver. Making people happy is probably my favorite thing to do, and during this time, I can’t do it. I can’t cure the Coronavirus; I can’t ease the fears of friends and family about illness or income. I can’t protect the ones I care about. 

💔There are so many things I feel like I’m missing out on. That everyone is missing out on. I hate to admit it, but I am disappointed that I have no idea when baseball season is going to start; or that the tickets to a comedy show I was looking forward to may never be rescheduled. That game nights and taco and trivia Tuesdays are cancelled. 

💔I know I’m lucky. As far as I know, my family and friends are safe and healthy. My husband and I are able to work from home, so we don’t lose income. We don’t have kids, so we don’t have to worry about balancing homeschooling with working from home. 

💔Why should I be anxious? Why should I be depressed? It can be so much worse. That’s the guilt talking. 

Guilt,  Depression, and Anxiety are three friends, reuniting at my expense. Though, to be completely honest, it’s natural. Like an old sweatshirt you thought you got rid of years ago. When you put it on, there’s a slight comfort in the familiarity. 

I have to try to get out of this...funk or whatever it is. It’s going to be difficult. Especially now that I have the perfect excuse to isolate. I’m just hoping that after I adapt, and accept, this different life, I’ll start leveling off again. And if not, well, I’m a pro at hiding it. (Again, I’m keeping this remark in.)

I’m sorry for the depressing post. But, I’m sure I’m not the only one going through this. It’s nice to know that when we’re in this time of social distancing, you’re not alone. 

Boredom Shopping

I’ve always been an introvert, preferring to stay in the house rather than going out. Long periods of social interaction exhausts me. But now that it’s pretty much government mandated that I stay in, it’s starting to get to me. Boredom is starting to set in. 

For as long as I can remember, my brain has a hard time telling the difference between boredom and hunger. It’s making being on Weight Watcher during this semi quarantine difficult. But, I’m learning that boredom has another side effect on me:  Online Shopping. 

When I’m taking a break from reading, or crocheting, I’m online looking up things I can buy. And I’ve placed a few orders. (Hey, in my defense, I’m doing what I can to make my home office comfy and cozy.)

Here are some things that I’ve purchased during these last few weeks at home:

A pack of butterfly stickers from Lovepop. They make me smile. 

New office chair from Wayfair. I felt a little guilty after this purchase, because it was kind of a splurge. But my sore back is grateful. 

Fairy lights from Amazon. They are currently in a big heap on my office floor. I might need to get creative in how I hang them, or spend the rest of quarantine time trying to untangle them. 

I’m thinking of buying some seeds to plant in a little pot. But I don’t think I’d be able to keep it alive. 

Seriously, though, I do need to stop spending money. It’s a bad way to cope with this new normal. What about you? How do you handle boredom?

Home Office

The call came Sunday night. “If you have the capability, please work from home.” Even though I don’t like working from home, I’m grateful that I have the option to do so.

I guess with every situation there are pros and cons. 

😊Pro:  I can sleep in a little because I only have a 20 step commute. 

😔Con:  My bed is literally on the other side of this wall, and I hear it whispering to me throughout the day. 

😔Con:  I miss my coworkers. 

😊Pro:  I can say my stuffed animals are my coworkers. 

😔Con:  These two are so gossipy. They don’t even try to whisper. 

😊Pro:  Salt-N-Pepa Radio on Pandora 

😔Con:  All my cool desk toys are at the office. 

😊Pro:  When I’m not typing, I can crochet and no one is around to think I’m slacking off. 

😔Con:  The home office chair hurts my back. 

😊Pro:  I have a view.

😔Con:  Trying to stay out of the kitchen!

😊Pro:  Silence for reading on my breaks. 

😔Con:  Little motivation to get dressed. 

😊Pro:  Sweatpants!

😊Pro:  There’s a really cute guy who is working two floors below me. 

For those of you who have to go into work during this time, thank you.  For those of you who had to be laid off during this time:  We'll get through this.

For those of you working from home, tell me more about your home office!